Essential Life Tips
Hey everyone. I know I haven’t posted anything on here for a while but rest assured, a new book is nearly finished and will hopefully be released sometime next year. 2021 was definitely a year of grounding myself and looking inwards, coming to terms with reality, restructuring my goals, as well as strengthening my connections with those around me. So I’ve listed 26 life tips that I had either newly learned, or even tried to implement more and focus on. Some may sound like common sense, but many things are left said and never actually implemented daily, and it’s up to us to hold ourselves accountable. These tips are crucial in benefiting your mental, physical and social well being, and I hope you’ll get to take away something that could enhance your life in any way as you consider new goals for next year. (These are in no particular order)
Don’t depend on others for anything. The more you rely on yourself, the less disappointed and the more in control of your own life you will be. I mean this for everything. Work, school, friends, relationships. Center yourself and put yourself first when it comes your emotional well being and overall productivity.
Learn to not be controlled by your emotions and separate your feelings from logic. It takes some time to master shifting yourself out of the emotional passenger seat and back into the drivers seat of logic, but with enough awareness and practice, it’s possible. You’ll no longer be overrun by a flood of emotions over situations that can easily be solved by viewing them from a perspective of clarity and practicality.
Dedicate time to spend with yourself. Not by yourself, WITH yourself. Meaning that you being alone possessed by your phone or TV doesn’t count. You have no idea the benefits you’ll reap just by simply blocking everything out and laying in your thoughts, even talking to yourself out loud for a few hours. It sounds crazy, but its wildly beneficial. You’ll get to know yourself, become more comfortable and even love being independent this way. Life is full of distractions, don’t let them take you away from yourself. I also wrote my favorite article on this you can read here
Try things you’ve never done before. Take a martial arts class and learn self-defense to boost your physical health and confidence. Get better at cooking, drawing or any creative outlet. You don’t have to be excellent at it. But branching out of your comfort zone little by little is pivotal for self improvement. And learn to have hobbies and do things that don’t solely revolve around making money.
This is challenging, but learn to understand and confront your fears, especially if they are inhibiting your growth. You fear big social events? Go to one. You have a fear of heights? Overcome it by cliff diving like I did. Fear in itself is a poison that can limit and inhibit your frame of mind + growth. Breaking through fear, even in small baby steps, is the most liberating, eye opening experience you can feel and once you break down that barrier, you will have more confidence and be able to evolve.
Learn to adapt to periods of uncertainty. Learn how to place some form of trust into the universe and remember that what you deserve and work for will come to you with patience and effort. You might be in an uncomfortable situation in the moment and can’t yet see the reasoning behind a certain circumstance, but there’s a reason to everything. In the future you can look back and understand that those not so pleasant moments were there for a reason. As an example, this entire year I had no idea what path I should be taking and I was stressing out until I sat myself down and narrowed down my goals and what I could see myself doing as a career I’d enjoy every day. You are never going to have all the answers in your life at once, but practice patience, persistence and trust, and everything else will unveil itself in perfect timing.
Find a creative outlet. No matter what it is. No matter how unartistic you may think you are. Just do it. It’s therapeutic and does wonders for your mental health. Draw something, write, paint, play an instrument if you want. But being creative, even if it’s just a couple hours a week, not only stimulates the right-side of your brain, it forms all sorts of new and interesting connections between neurons, meaning that you will see different perspectives on problems and situations that you’ve never saw before and could enhance your critical thinking.
Take a self defense class. This will help instill confidence in you knowing that no one could ever kick your ass and you won’t feel defenseless in a bad situation. Even if it’s just for a couple hours a week, even if you may think you won’t be good at it, it will be worth it if you are ever in a dangerous situation and need to protect yourself.
Travel more. Traveling opens your eyes to new worlds and rips you from your little bubble of comfort. Travel by yourself even. Notice how or if you can adapt well into a foreign environment. This will test your self-reliance as well as opening opportunities to learn about new places, meet new people and shift your perspective on so many aspects of life. You’ll return home a new person.
Understand that the only time you have is right now, so stop procrastinating. Procrastination is the ultimate productivity killer. This is self-explanatory, but very often dismissed. I’m not saying you should be productive every day. We are not machines, but if you have a lot on your plate, focus on doing at least the easiest tasks first and hold yourself accountable for what you need to accomplish.
Stop wasting your time thinking that someone in your life is going to change and stop thinking that you can change them. They are the way they are, and if there’s something about them that you do not like, you don’t change them; you change by considering their place in your life and potentially moving on. You should absolutely communicate to them in a *mature way* about a certain issue if they are hurting you, but if they aren’t willing to change, that simply means they do not care about you and are too stubborn to change their behavior. Move on.
Try creating more than one stream of income. That way if you lose a job, you can still rely on other sources. Invest in high dividend stocks, sell some things you don’t use anymore, walk a dog if you have to in your spare time. There are endless opportunities.
Learn to trust yourself and pay attention to your inner voice. The one notion that separates successful people from non-successful people (I’m not talking material/career success) is that they’re confident, self aware, and are able to tap into their intuition to have it guide them on decision making. Your intuition is your gut feeling that many people often ignore. One way to strengthen your inner voice and intuition is to practice meditation. There are many different ways to meditate and doing so will lead to a clearer mind - and a clearer mind will lead to clearer thoughts and a more grounded + calmer mental state.
Learn to be more open to opinions other than your own. Many people can be stubborn and even when they realize they are wrong on a topic, they defend it to protect their pride. There is nothing wrong with humility and being able to admit you may be wrong about something. A sign of an intelligent person is that they are able to hold multiple opinions on certain subjects without being attached to one viewpoint.
Also, learn to respect other people’s opinions. You may not agree with them, you might even hate what they’re saying, but it’s a waste of time trying to change someone’s opinion and I had to learn this many times, especially if that person is stubborn. If they’re wrong about something and they’re too prideful to admit it, move on.
READ. Knowledge is power. Sorry, but your twitter binges can only take you so far before your mental health and brain start turning to mush. Read on history, spirituality, marketing, psychology, ANYTHING you are interested in, but I’m asking you to stick to non-fiction at least. Social media is entertaining in moderation, but face it, that’s not doing anything for yourself. In addition to gaining general knowledge, reading helps you speak and think better. Even if you just read for 20 minutes a day.
Unlearn the psychological effects of capitalism. Not everything you do with your time has to be in regard to a job and making money. Learn to break away from this dangerous mindset and enjoy the simplicities in taking time for yourself and doing things that make you happy. You’re just going to end up burned out and eternally dissatisfied otherwise.
Learn a new language. Not only does learning a new language unlock parts of your brain and makes you much more intelligent, but learning another common language is crucial to surviving in foreign environments and looks incredible on a resume.
Meditate. Meditating gives you clarity, focus and insight. Even sitting in a quiet area and focusing on a breathing exercise for ten minutes will bring incredible results for your physical/mental well being. I know it can be difficult, but as I’ve said, there are many ways to meditate so find a method that works for you and try sticking it out.
Learn self discipline. You want to get muscle? Hold yourself accountable and go to the gym. You want to learn a new language? Dedicate time to do so. In my opinion, a big trait that separates successful people from non-successful people is self discipline. You could be interested in something and/or be talented/creative, but if you’re not applying those skills or setting time to work on something by having the self discipline and holding yourself accountable, you won’t be able to accomplish anything.
Learn to accept things as they are and not get attached to anything. There is a big difference between healthily loving something/someone and becoming attached to it/them. Being attached means you rely on it too much and you may need it to fill a void within you, and when you’re attached, you become fixated or even controlling in extreme scenarios. But people come and go, things will always change, and as painful as it is, you must be able to healthily accept situations and people for as/who they are without force or control.
Learn how to articulate yourself and communicate efficiently. Knowing how to speak well will help you in communicating clearly and proving your points when defending yourself. Whether you’re speaking in front of a group of people or giving a presentation at work or school, knowing how to communicate efficiently is crucial.
Remove any negativity in your life. I know this is obvious, and sometimes it’s hard, but just because they’re a family member or a close friend, doesn’t mean they need to be kept in your life if they’re toxic and diminish your mental health. Don’t create an excuse, nor let anyone give you an excuse to abuse you just because you’re family or if they’ve been in your life for a long time. It’s about to be 2022. Learn to consider and protect yourself first, as difficult as it may be.
Learn to be more considerate. This is a big one for me because I’ve encountered so many people who aren’t sympathetic and considerate to those around them and although it might not be their intent, it comes off as disrespectful and cold. Understand how your behavior and what you do (or even not do) could make other people feel, so be cautious with your actions and learn to take other peoples feeling into account.
Learn how to protect your energy and put your needs first. Say no to someone if you don’t want to do something. Don’t do anything out of a sense of obligation (listen to your intuition!) Surround yourself with people and things that are good for your mental health. Be selfish, self loving and listen to your mind and body.