Under The Veils of Intuition

So much had happened during my time writing my second book, I wanted to write a post to explain in depth the inspiration, process, challenges and experience of writing Intuition. It was anything but easy and nothing like my first book. 

In July 2018, the familiar life in Miami was coming to an end upon my graduation, and I had no clue what to do and where to go from there. I wanted to move forward, but I didn’t know what step to take. If I had stayed in Miami, my growth would’ve hit a plateau, and the only thing scarier than change, is not changing. So I left.

I fled to Europe. I was traveling with family then I went to live with my friend in Milan to record music, and that’s where the beginning blueprints of the book started to surface. I didn’t allow myself to think about what would happen after I returned to the states and for the first time, I trained myself to solely enjoy the present moment. I encountered many different situations and experiences that started to test my self reliance, ability to adapt in a foreign environment, taking risks on my own, meeting new people + having to place my trust in them, and counting on no one but myself living in a foreign environment. I was writing every day and night, on trains from Rome to Milan, off the shores of the Amalfi coast, and subways to the recording studio. So much had happened during my time in Europe and the endnote of all of this was the foundation of the book.

I could plan to write a book, structure it, outline it and try to fill in the blanks as much as I can, but everything flies out of the window when I’m headfirst in a new experience. I didn’t feel like myself then because I realized I wasn’t even aware of who I was, what my self-perception was and how I reacted to a new situation. I knew that if I were to grow and truly evolve to grasp the new life ahead of me, I had to change and wake the fuck up. I needed to stop projecting this expected reality I had in my head and see things, with no strings attached, as they truly were.

The revision process for the book was the most tedious, challenging task. Some pieces remained the same from initial conception, but other pieces were either revised multiple times, rearranged, or just omitted from the final version. I did this nearly every single day until it was completed this year. I didn’t have help with roles outside of writing so I had to take on every position from editing, formatting, revising, publishing, content creation, digital marketing, social media planning and creative direction.

One thing that was most crucial was how, in contrast to my first book, I allowed myself time to truly breathe through the pages and take my time writing it. I wrote my first book in a little over two months and this book took two years. I wrote constantly everyday, with attention over the smallest details, ensuring the cohesion and well roundedness of the world I was creating. The final version has become the purest cut of my soul into physical form. 

Some people think the process of growing up/evolving is a straight line up but Intuition shows just how unrealistic that is. Growth is a web of struggle and effort. Becoming aware of my thought process and behaviors, and consistently trying to retrain my mind to break these negative mindsets, is something that needs to be implemented every day. Which is why the energy in the book shifts from positive to negative so frequently. The culmination of all of this is summed up in one of the pieces titled “War In Me,” near the end of the book.

I knew that I had finished writing the book when I was in New York and all these questions and struggles that I had we’re being answered/let go. I realized there wasn’t a wrong or right way to live life. I’m not supposed to do what others expect of me. I can’t depend on another person, or another city to make me happy. Every single question, every single worry could in fact, be simply solved from within. Through so many personal wins and failures within myself, I had retrained my mind to detach and let go from what I thought I wanted or needed to be happy and to feel fulfilled.

My sister helped me design the cover. I wanted it to be inspired by the Vatican museum in Rome and the trance I was in walking down those cobbled streets underneath the summers skies. My friend Mario contributed his sketches as well as my friend Shalenah who helped me with the revision process.

Pretty soon, this work that I’ve kept to myself, sculpting for so long to become the final form it is now, will be released into the world. I feel like it’s truly alive, independent from me and breathes with lungs of its own at this point.

To Intuition: people are going to read you, enjoy you, relate with you, cry with you, question you, feel hurt with you and heal with you. I only hope you will bring some light into the lives of those you touch, remind them of their own intuition, and teach them to trust themselves.

Available now at Amazon and Barnes & Nobles.