Adolescence, Adulthood and Cognitive Distortions

Adolescence is a very complex stage in one's life as it's the bridging phase between early childhood and adulthood. As well as being able to learn to navigate one's own relationship with themselves, they also have to endure external influences from their peers, their parents and others as they slowly form their identity. There are many trials and tribulations we all grow through during this stage that eventually shapes who we are as adults. If we are unable to work through certain issues and mindsets, they will very much stay with us during our adult years and have major influence on our self esteem as well as our relationships with others. 

There are said to be about three different elements when it comes to egocentrism: personal fable, self focus, and imaginary audience. 

Personal fable is a concept that I have noticed many adults even still hold. It's essentially the belief that whatever has an impact on other people, won't have an impact on the individual, and that they are the center of attention. This reckless form of thinking can lead to consequences because the individual believes that whatever they do, they will be unharmed.  This leads into self focus where someone can be stubborn in their own opinions and behave selfishly. They are unable to consider the guidance of others and will rebel against authoritative figures in an attempt to latch onto their growing independence. 

Imaginary audience is a psychological concept where someone believes people are always watching them and evaluating/judging them. As an example, I will admit that I still deal with this form of thinking where I feel like there are eyes on me and that I'm on display even when I am alone. I am not sure if it solely stems from my adolescence stage, even though I was very harshly judged by my family and peers growing up. I think it partly stems from using social media for so long, that even when I put down my phone I can still imagine so many faces and opinions swirling through my head that I don't always feel like I am alone, even when I am.

What was the point in addressing all of this? Because the majority of adults still face many of these cognitive distortions and were never able to grow past them as they entered adulthood. It takes a particular person with very high self esteem/respect and a high level of maturation in order to be freed from these ways of thinking. I don't think I have ever met a single adult who does not exhibit behaviors stemming from some of these distortions and it is simply because people don't know how to work through them, and most people aren't even aware they have them. It takes years of inner work to be able to evolve past these cognitive conditionings and it's rather challenging, but not impossible. There's therapy, but even books on the subjects of reconditioning your mind are readily available and deeply informative. I highly recommend the book "How To Do The Work" by Nicole LePera that delves into the process of reconditioning the mind. 

There are things that I am still learning about myself to this day, and it's always something that I connect back to my adolescence stage. But each day I uncover to recover, I make a conscious effort to improve myself, no matter how challenging it may be and how much my mind resists. Change is always possible, and waiting for us.